The Passionate Suitor

One of our deepest human desires is to give and receive love. I think this is a reflection of being created in God's image. For eternity, love has flowed between members of the Trinity. When He created, He gave us this gift. This desire is met in part as it's expressed in our relationships with others. However, I think the real reason for its existence is to drive us to intimacy with Him. The ultimate fulfillment of this longing is only met by the touch of the infinite Lover of our souls and our fervent response to Him.

In Song of Songs 1:12, we find the maiden sitting at dinner with the shepherd, having accepted his earlier invitation to follow. It's in the context of this desire for a loving relationship that the young maiden says to herself:

While the king is at his table, my perfume fills the air with its fragrance.

She's sitting at the table and notices him noticing her. She's thinking of what he means to her, hoping for some response. And respond he does. In verse 15 he says to her:

Look at you! You are beautiful, my true love!
Look at you! You are so beautiful!

Here she is, still the 'dark but lovely' immature maiden of a few verses earlier. She has weakness and sin in her, but she also has desire for him. When he looks at her, he sees, not only the young shepherdess that has brought her flocks following after his, but also the mature bride which will emerge. He's looking at her through the corridor of time, seeing the effect of his love lavished on her, and the changes it brings. With this vision, from the beginning he relates to her as if she's complete and calls her beautiful.

Remember the Banquet of Wine I talked about ealier? (See the articles here.) This is where, as part of the betrothal process, the groom pours out a glass of wine for his intended. This represents his pouring out of himself for her.

I see this same thing happening in the relationship between Jesus and the disciples. At the last supper, Jesus took the cup and passed it among them saying 'Drink. This is Me, poured out for you.' Further, in the context of the same meal, He told them he was going away to prepare a place in His Father's house and would return for them so they could live with Him. This is more imagery taken directly from Jewish wedding customs.

Yet while He was saying and doing these things, He knew what was going to happen later that very night. He knew the betrayal of Peter. He knew that the rest would forsake Him during the crucifixion. The disciples were very dark, but He saw them as lovely. He too looked through time, past that night's failings, saw their future intimacy and called them to a position of authority.

And by proxy, we were there with them in that room. In love He calls us to a journey wherein we'll be changed by a passionate relationship with Him. He meets us as immature people, dark with sin. He loves us first. Having poured his life out for us, He forgives our sins and calls us before we're cleaned up. It's only then that He starts the cleansing, knowing that eventually, in spite of failings along the way, we will eventually be the mature, radiant bride, lovely in His sight.

Current reality

In this final article in the series on the Bridal Paradigm, I'm going to transition from Old Testament foreshadowings to New Testament realities.

In Jewish custom there were several stages leading up to a marriage.

The first was the betrothal. This was where a young man and his father prepared a covenant and presented it to the intended girl and her family. Involved in this was the payment of a bride price where the young man paid the family for the cost of raising a daughter. It also indicated the importance she held to him and his commitment to her. In addition to the bride price, which went to the family, the young man brought gifts for his intended.

The betrothal was formalized by the Banquet of Wine. As discussed in a previous article, this is a celebration of the coming marriage where the groom-to-be pours out a glass of wine for his intended. This symbolizes the terms of the covenant wherein he commits himself and all he has to her. She then drinks this, symbolizing her acceptance of his provision on her behalf.

At the end of the betrothal ceremony, the young man announces that he's going to prepare their wedding chamber but as soon as it's prepared, he'll return to get her. They will not see each other again until he finishes this work. It might take a year or more to complete this bridal chamber, and since the young man's in a hurry, he might be tempted to cut corners. Hence, his father has the responsibility to decide when it's ready, not the young man.

While the young man is preparing the wedding chamber, the bride-to-be prepares herself. This involves a ceremonial cleansing. She prepares herself physically and emotionally to leave her father's house and join her betrothed in his. She uses the gifts he's given her to make herself ready. She's not sure when he will return, it could be at any time of the day or night; she just needs to be ready. It was customary for the bride to keep an oil lamp beside her bed, along with her veil and other belongings.

On one of the father's inspections of the bridal chamber, he announces to his son that it's finished and he may fetch his bride. The son gathers his close friends and sets out for her house. When the wedding party gets close, they give a shout and blow the shofar to let the bride know her groom is on his way. He comes in and carries her away to the wedding chamber where they celebrate for seven days.

Each of these stages can be seen in the New Testament.

Matthew writes, starting in chapter 26, verse 26: 'While they were eating, Jesus took some bread, and after a blessing, He broke it and gave it to the disciples, and said, 'Take, eat; this is My body.' And when He had taken a cup and given thanks, He gave it to them, saying, 'Drink from it, all of you; for this is My blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for forgiveness of sins.' This is the bride price he was willing to pay: his own blood. Peter says in chapter 1, verses 18 and 19: 'knowing that you were not redeemed with perishable things like silver or gold ... but with precious blood, as of a lamb unblemished and spotless, the blood of Christ.'

In addition, he gave gifts. First while he was here in the form of healing, wine, food and teaching. And second, after he left, he gave the gift of the Holy Spirit and His empowerment.

When we partake of the Lord's Supper, we are accepting his offer of marriage. We are drinking the cup of wine from the betrothal feast.

After the Lord's Supper, Jesus proclaimed in John 14:3: 'If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself, that where I am, there you may be also.' He's announcing his intent to build a wedding chamber and he's promising to return for us. When asked when he'd be returning, he replied that 'of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father alone.' (Matthew 24:36)

In this time of separation, we are to prepare ourselves. Just as the bride partook in a ceremonial washing, we partake in baptism. We use the gifts he's given us to His glory and preparation of the bride. John writes 'His bride has made herself ready. It was given to her to clothe herself in ... the righteous acts of the saints.' (Revelation 19:7) We are not to love the world or the things in the world. (1 John 2:15) We are to be holy as He is holy. (1 Peter 1:15-16) We are to keep ourselves for Him for He is jealous over us. (James 4:5) Having been washed with the water of the word, we are to be holy and blameless. (Ephesians 5:27)

And finally, there will be a day when the wedding chamber will be finished, the Father will say it's time and 'the Lord himself shall descend from heaven, with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first; then we that are alive, that are left, shall together with them be caught up in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord.' (1 Thessalonians 4:16) 'Let us rejoice and be glad and give the glory to Him, for the marriage of the Lamb has come and His bride has made herself ready. ... Blessed are they that are bidden to the marriage supper of the Lamb.' (Revelation 19:7-9)

Xerxes and Esther

King Xerxes threw a six-month party for all his nobles. At the end of this he threw a huge, seven day, bash for everyone in the capital city. During this finale, he wanted to show off the greatest treasure of the kingdom, his queen. But she insulted him by refusing his summons and was removed from her position of privilege.

Some would say this request was lewd and inappropriate and should have been denied. However, I don't think this was the nature of the request. Isaiah 62 talks about the church's glory being made evident as a crown of beauty in God's hand. 1 Corinthians 11 tells us that the glory of a man is his wife and man is the glory of God. Ephesians 3 tells us that the work that God is doing in the church to bring her to glory is to reveal His wisdom to the rulers and authorities in heavenly places. I think this indicates that Jesus is going to do with his bride what Xerxes was trying to do with Vashti: demonstrate his glory by the way in which his queen is dressed.

In time, a search was made for a new queen. One of those included in this search was Esther, a Jewish captive whose family was taken to Babylon by Nebuchadnezzar. After 12 months of preparatory treatments, it was Esther's turn to go before the king. She asked the king's adviser, Hegai, to dress her to please the king.

In a similar way, the sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit purifies believers and makes them ready for the heavenly groom. The things we go through, the ways we respond, the decisions we make under His guidance, all make us ready for that last day. We are to be washed and without spot or wrinkle when we're presented to Christ (Ephesians 5:27). We are to be diligent in our pursuit of righteousness in order to be blameless in His sight (2 Peter 3:14). We are to repent under his reproof and so acquire garments of white (Revelation 3:22).

That night Esther captured the king's heart and was made queen. In celebration, the king threw another party. Traditionally this was called a Banquet of Wine, which was the betrothal feast in Middle Eastern cultures. During the party, the groom would pour a glass of wine and set it on the table. This symbolized the pouring out of himself for the bride; offering all he had for her. Later, she would go to the table and drink it, symbolically saying 'Yes, I accept. My life is sustained by you. We are one.'

Some years later, Haman, an enemy of the Jews, rose to a place of prominence in the court. Through this position of authority, with the king's ascent, he was able to pass a law to kill all the Jews in the land.

Similarly, Satan seeks to destroy God's people, and does it in the bounds of God's authority. Remember the stories of Job, Peter and Jesus, who all were harassed by Satan, with God's permission. I believe God allows strategic threats of the enemy to force the queen into her place of intercession before the king.

Esther learned of Haman's plan, prepared herself to meet the king and went to stand in his presence. When the king saw her, his heart was moved. He raised his scepter to her, granting her an audience. He watched her as she approached the throne, stunned by her loveliness. By the time she reached him, he was ruined. He was a man in love. The king invited her to presume upon her positional authority: what is your request? Up to half the kingdom. Rather than responding with her intercessory burden, Esther invited him, along with Haman, to a Banquet of Wine.

It is here that the idea of bridal intercession begins to be revealed. Outside, the Jews are distressed. They're going around in sackcloth and ashes. They're weeping and fasting. However inside, near the heart of the king, the bride is reminding him of their romance. She's reminding him of that first Banquet of Wine, the intimacy they share and renewing her commitment to him. Standing opposite to Vashti's refusal to be seen as his bride, Esther is actively creating an environment, in the presence of his nobles, in which she can be seen as his and his alone.

After the feast, the king again asked her what she needed. Esther does a remarkable thing. Once again, rather than interceding, she invited the king and Haman to another Banquet of Wine the next night. She took full advantage of her prerogative to stir the king's heart. Her request is secondary, for she's coming to grips with the fact that the king's heart is ravished for her. He will take care of the issues as they present themselves. So plans are made for the next night, where she promises to let the king know what is on her heart.

The king knows that there is something on her mind, but he's pleased with her approach. The next night, he again invited her to presume upon her standing and offers up to half the kingdom. This time Esther responds by telling him of the plan to destroy her and her people. She's careful not to reveal too much or say who it is. She just lets the reality sink in and let the king's anger build. The king is outraged. Who would dare to threaten his bride? Haman.

It's here that the wisdom of including Haman in the celebration becomes evident. He's had two nights to observe first hand the romance and affection between the king and queen. The previous night he went home and bragged to his friends and family of his position near them. All of a sudden the tables have been turned and he realizes the serious trouble he's in. The king is so distraught, he leaves the party to think. Haman is terrified and pleads with the queen for his life. On his return, the king immediately orders Haman's execution.

I believe all this is a prophetic story of our relationship with God. First, He's a joyful God who enjoys throwing parties. He's looking for a bride who will prepare herself to stand before him in the glory that He's bestowed upon her. He gave himself and poured himself out for us, to bring us into a relationship with him. Finally, He strategically allows problems into our lives. In the words of Psalm 23: 'You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.' This gives us an opportunity to grow in our understanding of our position before him. Also, it provides Satan an opportunity to see the mutual love between us and be terrified.